By theregoesmyspermcount - 02/08/2009 22:45 - United States

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML
I agree, your life sucks 69 847
You deserved it 5 703
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redbluegreen 40

I'd suggest you invest in a giant human bubble. Or a cup.

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Comments

Lopkop 0

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!

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UGADawg08 1

Maybe he's punching you in the crotch because you're calling him an "ex-Marine". There is no such thing as an ex-Marine. Have some respect for his service.

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cheeter 0

Love the name!!! Theregoesmyspermcount

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Lydix 0

Ahahaha! As horrible as this is, you're dad has some creative and hilarious ways to "improve reflexes". Well, I guess you better work those reflexes a different way and learn to dodge, sir. After a while of dodging he'll get bored and stop. And then those crazy thugs out in the real world won't be able to touch your balls. You'll just be dodging all over the place. WHEE!!! Then the thugs will get sad and go home. Thus, you're father has just inadvertently rid the world of thugs.

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jcooplsu11 0

I say you invest in a taser and zap his ass every time he hits you!

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Corneliat 0

This could only be funnier if your dad was Captain Falcon. You are fappan alone in your room when suddenly from the ceiling... "FALCON PAUUUNCH!" I feel bad for you man. Try DOING A BARREL ROLL!

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the2belo 0

A Marine who was dishonorably discharged for insubordination would qualify as being an "ex-Marine", I think. But in any case, here is what you should do: 1) Secretly join a gym, lifting weights every day, and build up some muscle mass. 2) Take classes in a martial art that teaches preparedness and good defense in close combat. 3) Practice both disciplines until you are quick enough to block attacks to the lower body at short notice. 4) Get a gun and shoot the son of a bitch.

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SeleneKoi 0

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Omg, that's just hilarious.

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AtoZandBeyond 0

You should get a cup... and punch him there too to test out his reflexes

0 0