Love: Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the...

By dumped - 05/06/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the love advice that she gets on her cellphone every week says that I'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and I was planning to propose next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 897

You deserved it 6 270

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Same thing different taste

By ponyboy - 22/01/2010 22:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she suspected me of cheating. She thought I was cheating because she caught me sneaking out in the middle of the night. I was sneaking out to plan my proposal to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 362

You deserved it 4 222

By internetadvice - 01/04/2009 04:04 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out that she wasn't really in love with me. She got that advice from an internet survey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 427

You deserved it 8 965

By killme - 13/12/2018 14:00

Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me saying I don’t make her happy, I don’t make her laugh, that she feels she is settling for me and that she is not being pleased sexually. Even though she has always said I did all of that and that we could work through anything. I was going to propose... FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 110

You deserved it 368

By .... - 24/12/2013 02:48 - United States - Modesto

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 082

You deserved it 3 737

By fucklife - 16/04/2013 18:13 - United States - Washington

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 544

You deserved it 5 210

God laughs

By Flipper_87 - 29/06/2022 04:00

Today, my girlfriend, who I’ve been madly in love with for 18 months, left me for some guy she met two weeks ago. I was planning to propose to her next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 138

Daddy's girl

By Anonymous - 07/11/2021 14:00 - Guam

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me, a month after I'd proposed and she'd said yes. When asked why all of the sudden, she said her family disapproved of me, and I wasn't worth fighting for and potentially losing her father's love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 142

Complicated relationship

By Anonymous - 02/11/2019 23:00

Today my girlfriend of three years broke up with me. Why? She wasn’t sure about the relationship anymore. She seemed pretty sure though, seeing she was on Tinder less than 2 hours after, thanks to the 3 different friends that all called me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 036

You deserved it 175

By Anonymous - 13/05/2015 17:20 - Canada - Qu?bec

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 951

You deserved it 2 774

Awks

By hungryman - 14/07/2009 21:10 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 661

You deserved it 9 109

MDB021 0

Friday 5 June 2009 23:03

well if she takes advise from a cellphone love advise i would just leave

Golem_fml 1

Friday 5 June 2009 23:04

If she's listens to cellphone advice over common sense, you came out on top my friend.

Comments

manderin 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 6:42

That bitch times infinity I bet she just don't want u to dump her

blooop_fml 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 6:45

Well it seems like you've dodged a bullet. Kudos to you!

UWBeautyQueen12 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 6:49

Well at least now you can say that you have a very stupid ex-girlfriend instead of a very stupid fiance or wife even!

notmarried976 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 6:57

Well, if she honestly believed that crap from her phone, then your probably better off without her. still, fyl indeed :P

emerica 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 7:04

Sooooo unlucky

VillanovaGoose 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 7:05

YDI for almost proposing to a girl that dumb

mndz_mkl 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 7:06

im just randomly guessing she's a blonde

DuxHuntin 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 7:09

Screw that bitch

ShenziSixaxis 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 7:12

She's stupid enough to believe that fake shit? You shouldn't have married her anyways, you deserve better (and smarter) than that.

samtime 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 7:17

Good ridance I say, although it's a bummer u had to be taken for the ride.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while cleaning my vehicle at the car wash, the vacuum cleaner found a new purpose. As I twisted around, the mouth of the hose made its way down to my crotch and latched on. It definitely wasn’t painful, but I’ve now been sucked off by a vacuum. Best yet weirdest blow job ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 1 277

Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 093

You deserved it 165

The Top

Today, I told off my crazy sister-in-law after she made my wife cry for putting on weight during lockdown. Then, as I was sleeping in my armchair, the crazy bitch snuck into the house and cut off every single one of my meter-long dreadlocks. Now I got a BALD HEAD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 512

You deserved it 395

Today, I realized I'm extremely sexually attracted to my physical therapist. It doesn't help that treatment involves me spending the entire appointment naked from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 161

Today, at work, the security threw out an old man in his 80s who had been caught masturbating while hiding in the ladies' changing room. I thought it was funny until my manager told me to clean up that very same changing room with the old man spunk all over the wall and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 1 867

Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 087

You deserved it 39 699

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 918

You deserved it 4 052

Today, I finally won an ongoing battle with my family to go to a restaurant I like, rather than a restaurant I hate with a passion. Now I'm throwing up, and my back is killing me. I'm the only one who got food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 753

You deserved it 12 383