Miscellaneous: Today, my dad decided that he wanted to start a collection of...

By Anonymous - 10/01/2012 03:14 - United States

Today, my dad decided that he wanted to start a collection of sporks. They're filling up our car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 208

You deserved it 2 419

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 11:55 - United States - Louisville

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 608

You deserved it 2 893

By Dragoness11 - 03/05/2019 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at a cheap restaurant, my dad asked me if I wanted a straw. I declined, saying I wanted to do my bit for the environment and not waste plastic when I'm fine without. He grabbed three and dropped them on the sticky table, "just in case." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 514

By Anonymous - 22/03/2014 23:07 - United States - Auberry

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 718

You deserved it 13 271

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 10:22 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 711

You deserved it 2 423

By Anonymous - 27/12/2009 22:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 370

You deserved it 3 576

By phonemenace - 17/08/2011 09:50 - United States

Today, I counted the amount of stuff that my dad had bought within a week: a brand new boat, car, and truck. He also has countless gadgets at his office, including a 60" television. Our house is literally falling apart but Mr. Midlife-crisis won't do anything to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 795

You deserved it 2 827

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 309

You deserved it 2 710

By ugh - 04/07/2016 17:26 - United States - Milford

Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 439

You deserved it 1 118

By sick of this shit - 12/03/2016 13:33 - United States - West Grove

Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 950

You deserved it 1 753

By Anonymous - 09/03/2011 01:15 - United States

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 766

You deserved it 7 945

H3RPxD3RP 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 8:57

Better than 50,000 knives in your car

grahambertus 11

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:07

I dont know man. They're both some pretty forked up ideas. I hope nothing like that happens to me any time spoon. Its just knife to know that I'm safe at the moment.

Comments

H3RPxD3RP 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 8:57

Better than 50,000 knives in your car

boofgall 16

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:03

..er, not really.

grahambertus 11

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:07

I dont know man. They're both some pretty forked up ideas. I hope nothing like that happens to me any time spoon. Its just knife to know that I'm safe at the moment.

enonymous 8

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:12

If you don't like sporks there is something seriously wrong with you.

delilah09 6

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:23

I see what you did there : )

ThisIsMyReign 4

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:32

14 - haha +1

GovernorGeneral 8

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:53

And the problem is...?

construction 7

Tuesday 10 January 2012 12:40

23. Aha -4 : )

aurynforever 14

Tuesday 10 January 2012 15:44

Or 10,000 spoons.

JoshTheMaggot 8

Tuesday 10 January 2012 16:16

He is clearly going through a midlife crisis, he just wants a sporks car.

ilovenaes 1

Wednesday 11 January 2012 4:46

Luckyy youu

ImFrackinBored 13

Thursday 12 January 2012 7:46

I dunno man... Sporks are serious business...

jaredjudd21 2

Tuesday 10 January 2012 8:59

Sporks, there like spoons, but they're also forks. Only god could have thought of such a silverware.

jaredjudd21 2

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:04

*they're

grahambertus 11

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:06

Or Samuel Francis, inventor of the spork.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:06

Hmmm, I don't recall ever having seen silver sporks. Seems like god prefers cheap plasticware instead.

jaredjudd21 2

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:06

#10 -He is god. #11 -silver Sporks are made just for the worthy

summerbreeze888 10

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:00

Why the hell would he want a ******* spork collection?!

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:03

One for every restaurant he's ever gone too.

anjtrg_1112 23

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:48

Because sporks are fascinating, you can't tell whether they're a spoon or a fork! (:

JacobWithaY 5

Tuesday 10 January 2012 13:15

Why wouldn't you want one?

badass243 6

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:01

they are a great combination of spoon and fork...

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:09

An even better combination - the knork. Knife and fork in one! Clone High, anyone?

construction 7

Tuesday 10 January 2012 12:42

15, nope that show sucked

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Wednesday 11 January 2012 0:02

Hey now, 41, I liked it. Besides, I got bitched out and buried on here for declaring Maury a terrible show. People's tastes confuse me sometimes.

CuteDumBlonde64 11

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:01

Time to pull out your Handy-Dandy trash bag! :D

xSonic 9

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:07

Yes, a penis could do that

Amrel 10

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:09

He will make your mom scratch his ass with it. I warned you

kemando 22

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:09

Dude sporks are totes agnostic, what are they? A spoon? A fork? Nobody can say.

ICATiger 13

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:12

Gotta get them all...

Jewnut 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:21

Lol imagine how many there will be after a week if they are already filling your car

Keywords

Transportation Cars Embarrassing Mental health Work Awkward Relatable AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Annoying Family Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist Health Animals Dogs Cute Sleep Shopping My ex Cats Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, I visited the best cafe for the fourth time in a week. I’ve tried not to flirt with the same (hot) barista, I even mentioned my partner, but we chat and joke every time, and get on well. After I said bye and left, I heard a hasty, “Love you, bye.” It's maybe a joke, but he’s a total catch, and I don't know if I can go back there now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 445

Today, my best friend of five years left cause I “followed them” and that made me depressed, then I couldn’t go outside or to class anymore cause I was too depressed, then my girlfriend, whom I was going to marry, left me because, you guessed it, I was too depressed. Now I’m in a mental hospital for trying to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 189

The Top

Today, my girlfriend invited me over because her husband was going to work. That bastard picked the PERFECT day to have the stomach flu and call out of work to come back home. I had to hide in the closet naked with blue balls for three hours until he fell asleep so I could sneak out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 1 616

Today, after having saved up my money for months to buy my college-bound son the car of his dreams, I got a phone call telling me it had been totalled during a drag-race. I only gave him the keys two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 263

You deserved it 14 125

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 179

You deserved it 7 690

Today, my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 584

You deserved it 3 035

Today, I found out my little sister is marrying my ex, and that my mother set them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 837

You deserved it 3 302

Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 424

You deserved it 1 803

Same thing different taste

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