By nottoosmall - 03/04/2013 16:57 - United States

Spicy
Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 773
You deserved it 15 626
Watch out for the New Year
It's time to say goodbye to the current year, but when the goodbye goes wrong, it's a different story. Be careful, you might want to stay at home. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

challan 19

Was the cashier your ex or your mom? Otherwise tell her you'll be lucky if these fit, you normally wear trash bags.

298 3

Comments

vcapelo 19

Yeah don't exaggerate! Be proud of your size!

191 18
browneyedgirl52 13

Don't exaggerate but maybe that is OP's size. Better to have the right size condoms than to squeeze your dick off with too tight ones.

97 3
not_a_robot 15

Just buy like fifteen boxes so he will be like, "Are these for the next few months?!", then, be all sly and say, "Nope, they're all for tonight". Then kick his ass and rob him blind. What a dick.

88 5
Jeffo193 13

#38 - "What a dick"...i hope that's what OP's girlfriend will be saying later ;-)

97 2
cloud1138 10

Yeah too small condoms make having sex with them on horrible and not fun it actually was so small that my dick went numb until I got a bigger size

8 48
tjv3 10

You should have whipped it out and been like I'm hung like a horse. Lol

41 5
BRLHP 24

And then get arrested and charged as a sex offender for whipping it out in a public store that has a high risk of children around.

45 2
AKGirlinSD 20

132, your comment made me think of Horrible Bosses, when the guy is a sex offender for peeing in a playground, in the middle of the night, next to the bar. I'll never get sick of that movie!

17 1
McNikk 15

Op was clearly butt naked when he bought the condoms. Duh.

187 2
eur0 14

OP was probably white and the cashier was used to only darker skinned males buying that size.

1 1
oj101 33

Maybe OP has been sleeping around town quite a bit.

47 5
therealafroninga 10

You must not have your penis license. See, when you go to buy condoms, you need your penis license, much like, if you were to drive, you would need a drivers license. Now, where your age would be on a normal drivers license, a actual photo of your penis, along with it's length, diameter, and TMI (lenght x girth/width) are shown. It's really common knowledge.

57 6
wldd0g 9

Ah, the old penis license. I used mine one too many times and now I am restricted on how much time I am allowed in the shower.

12 4
Reaper1984 13

#2 good call, sounds like the cashier is a real dick

1 4
HouseElf 13

66- OP could be the village bike....

2 2
DKjazz 20

138- Yeah, the kind without a seat.

2 7
CzechIsBack 15

The cashier knows because a regular condom fits over an arm - just fill one with water and watch how big it becomes! Also condom companies are on the record of selling the exact same size as normal packaged into XL. It's for guys with self esteem issues. No dick in history has been too big for a regular sized condom, not even a **** star's.

16 12
pmadNess 16

His hands and feet are tiny. That's how...

1 9
wldd0g 9

Actually 151, "regular" condoms are what I used for years, until I tried and XL. Now I no longer want to ever go back to regular again. It made a world of difference for me.

7 1
dawnimus 21

Regular condoms ARE too small for some guys. Just because they fit over your arm does not mean they fit _comfortably_ over your arm (or a large penis). Same principle as a somewhat heavy-set person wearing stretchy clothes three sizes too small. Sure, they can get them on but in no way does that mean they 'fit', or are comfortable for the wearer.

13 0
therealafroninga 10

165- so it's a big difference?

0 0
CorranH 3

151, you have no idea what you're talking about. As others have pointed out, just because a condom can stretch does not make it comfortable. Also, the ring of latex at the base is MUCH less elastic than the rest; I once went home blue-balled because the girl I was with only had regular size condoms, and we physically could not force it on.

5 0
23lf 16

Isn't it length square time girth divided by width?

3 0
ollie179 21

This cashier must be your stalker who spy's on you when you're not looking.

87 6
GrammarNazis 6

Hey, if its a girl cashier maybe its not a bad thing if she's stalking you. Oh, and I would be a disgraceful Grammer Nazi if I didn't do this-- Spys*

0 0
ollie179 21

I have investigated this claim quite deeply and it seems you are quite right. I apologise for any inconvenience caused.

33 1
Llamacod 11

No, Ollie is correct in his spelling of apologize. He is from the UK, they do not spell the same as we Americans do. (ie color, colour)

0 0
jessherself13 21

If he whipped out his genitals in Walmart, he would be having legal troubles, not just a problem with a cashier.

14 26
123man 11

And not only could he get arrested, but unless he's got an erection, it won't prove much. The size of a limp penis doesn't always have a direct correlation to erect size. There are a lot of factors, e.g. "shrinkage!"

40 0
littlemonster94 15

Unzip and drop em! Stranger things have occurred under walmarts roof..

61 1
HiIAmKevin 8

He could just end up on www.peopleofwalmart.com...I love those people lol

8 0
junkman6 22

I've seen idiots streak through wal mart. I highly doubt OP would have been in legal trouble for proving the cashier wrong.

1 4
challan 19

Was the cashier your ex or your mom? Otherwise tell her you'll be lucky if these fit, you normally wear trash bags.

298 3
mimiminx 23

#7 does your mother know the size of your erect penis then?!

54 5
challan 19

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
15 42
olpally 32

Lol wow. Great thread. Cashier was being a smart ass IMO.

18 1
Pleonasm 35

That makes no sense: Mums should know what their sons' dicks look like because they changed their diapers as a baby? And that dicks are identical from father to son?

56 3
gc327072 30

^~and, don't you know? Size never changes from baby to adult! A baby's dick is 40% of its weight at birth.~

21 3
rockbandaddict85 22

queue family guy... peter- wimpy wimpy, hefty hefty... lol

11 1
challan 19

52- I thought it was clear that I meant she had seen much of his penis throughout his life... Guess not. She'd know if he was above our below average lol

5 10
Lludes 5

My son is 11 and I haven't seen his penis since he was 5.

10 0
jessherself13 21

Well OP, it was only a Walmart cashier. They don't know the size of your manhood unless you dropped your trousers for them, so just ignore them. But FYL indeed for their comment, but if that really is your size you shouldn't let their comment get to you.

43 5
cliffibom 15

If it really is OP's size, i think the cashier should be the one writing on fml, not OP.

3 0
DubstepCrazyXD 11

Just because someone doesn't know you, doesn't mean they won't be a douche.

11 4
BVBarmy_girl 22

The cashier was probably just a very jealous male .. Unless you go shopping naked, I assume he didn't have anything to base that statement upon ;)

33 4
finnrambo 13

it was weird today, I went into walmart and everybody had clothes on!

17 0