Intimacy: Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every...

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By Anonymous - 26/02/2011 20:19 - United States

Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 519

You deserved it 5 179

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Same thing different taste

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 06:00

Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 885

You deserved it 246

By Anonymous - 06/10/2015 11:46 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I walked in on my sister shoving her vibrating phone into her privates. Can't erase that image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 469

You deserved it 3 421

Brother in law enforcement

By Sunshinenwhiskey - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Dallas

Today, I found out why my sister hasn't been answering my texts or phone calls. Her husband blocked my number on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 174

You deserved it 1 051

Eye bleach

By Anonymous - 06/11/2023 12:00

Today, I handed my mother-in-law my phone to see the toy that I was going to get for my nephew. While she had the phone, it swiped away to my last search of… vibrators and sex toys. I have no idea if she saw it before she handed me my phone back, saying, "It went away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 446

By fmyhabit - 15/04/2011 05:34 - United States

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 871

You deserved it 57 432

By Noname - 13/03/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 320

You deserved it 5 348

By Anonymous - 27/08/2015 12:43 - United Kingdom - Bexley

Today, my bitch of a sister broke my new phone, which took me months of work to earn. Her excuse? If I didn't want her to break it, I shouldn't have let her use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 662

You deserved it 2 445

Stay away!

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 03:08 - Singapore

Today, my sister used my mobile phone to call her boyfriend, who is married with children. His wife found my number on his phone and thought that I'm my sister. Since then, she has been calling me non-stop, calling me a "prostitute" each time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 201

You deserved it 5 452

Caught

By Anonymous - 14/08/2015 10:57 - Ukraine - Donetsk

Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 668

You deserved it 1 946

Don't answer

By Anonymous - 10/11/2014 14:28 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 614

You deserved it 5 822

WeeWizeL 0

Saturday 26 February 2011 23:56

So, what's all the buzz about?

TurkeyBaconLovin 0

Saturday 26 February 2011 23:56

didnt notice the smell?!

Comments

ILike_Dancing123 19

Sunday 27 February 2011 1:37

Wow that must be a strong vibration :L

jaykayc 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 1:40

there's something fishy about this fml...

tbonea1990 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 1:42

buy her a vibrator.

flame270 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 1:51

buy a new phone

winstonk 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 1:56

wat kinda phone u hav a *****

TBird18 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 1:58

If my sister did that ( who is 13) I'd slap her twice. First one just for that, and second one for using my phone to do it!

horridromance 7

Thursday 17 March 2011 5:11

and you never masturbated!?!?!

katelyn2013 1

Sunday 27 February 2011 2:00

haha your sister is a FREAK!!!

justabagofchips 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 2:30

I'd be locking my door, getting a new phone, & fussing that bitch out

MeMeek 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 2:37

Thats actually kind of cute :)

GatoradeBoomBOOM 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 5:22

i dont what is cute??

dansco 24

Sunday 27 February 2011 2:44

Either give her your phone and buy a new one or buy her a bunny lol

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My ex Love Ironic Cheating Intimacy Sex Money Kids Parents Annoying AITA Weird Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Parenting Embarrassing Periods Work Birthday Allergies Break-ups Miscellaneous Neighbours Noise Weekend Gross Insects Roommate Crush

The Top

Today, my ex said that the reason we didn't work out was because I wasn't handy around the house. I'm quite capable of basic home repairs. I'm not capable when she's hovering over me, hyperventilating, and screaming, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" every time I reach for a tool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 69

Today, one of my female friends decided she wants a relationship with my ex. I told her I was fine with it because we've been apart for years and have been friends ever since. She then made him chose between being friends with me and having her as a girlfriend. I just lost two of my few friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 452

You deserved it 278

The Top

Today, I asked for time off from work for my wedding and honeymoon. A grand total of three days. My boss made a face like he'd sucked on rancid toes and asked me if I was stupid. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 475

You deserved it 3 357

Today, I told my boyfriend I was afraid he would no longer love me when he returned from basic training. Hoping he would reassure me his feelings wouldn't change and we'd still be together, he replied instead, "Shit happens." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 444

You deserved it 8 165

Today, I fell down some stairs and broke my ankle. At the hospital, a nurse asked how far along I was and boom, one ultrasound later, I’m actually pregnant. I had to then convince multiple doctors that I did not in fact throw myself down the stairs trying to cause miscarriage before they’d let me go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 84

Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended, he loudly complained to his friends about the 'annoying girl' sitting next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 768

You deserved it 105 111

Today, my fiancée and I saw my parents at a store. This would've been a nice surprise if it wasn't a sex shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 480

You deserved it 479

Today, I went to my friend's house to celebrate her birthday but 3 of them ganged up on me and molested my arse cheeks. Later, someone found a wooden plank and spanked me hard. There was also a BB gun and my arse was the target. I have been a social outcast all my life, and these are my only friends, but I'm always hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 137