Intimacy: Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every...

By Anonymous - 26/02/2011 20:19 - United States

Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 509

You deserved it 5 176

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 06:00

Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 853

You deserved it 239

By Anonymous - 06/10/2015 11:46 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I walked in on my sister shoving her vibrating phone into her privates. Can't erase that image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 458

You deserved it 3 415

By Sunshinenwhiskey - 05/05/2016 15:10 - United States - Dallas

Today, I found out why my sister hasn't been answering my texts or phone calls. Her husband blocked my number on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 813

You deserved it 985

Eye bleach

By Anonymous - 06/11/2023 12:00

Today, I handed my mother-in-law my phone to see the toy that I was going to get for my nephew. While she had the phone, it swiped away to my last search of… vibrators and sex toys. I have no idea if she saw it before she handed me my phone back, saying, "It went away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 437

By fmyhabit - 15/04/2011 05:34 - United States

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 867

You deserved it 57 415

By Noname - 13/03/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 309

You deserved it 5 341

By Anonymous - 27/08/2015 12:43 - United Kingdom - Bexley

Today, my bitch of a sister broke my new phone, which took me months of work to earn. Her excuse? If I didn't want her to break it, I shouldn't have let her use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 654

You deserved it 2 443

Stay away!

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 03:08 - Singapore

Today, my sister used my mobile phone to call her boyfriend, who is married with children. His wife found my number on his phone and thought that I'm my sister. Since then, she has been calling me non-stop, calling me a "prostitute" each time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 191

You deserved it 5 450

Caught

By Anonymous - 14/08/2015 10:57 - Ukraine - Donetsk

Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 661

You deserved it 1 943

Don't answer

By Anonymous - 10/11/2014 14:28 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 605

You deserved it 5 816

WeeWizeL 0

Saturday 26 February 2011 23:56

So, what's all the buzz about?

TurkeyBaconLovin 0

Saturday 26 February 2011 23:56

didnt notice the smell?!

Comments

haribosUNLEASHED 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 0:23

What you didnt ********** at 12?

stewpididiot 11

Sunday 27 February 2011 17:12

I did...and I knew how to spell... currently trying to find the 'Vibrate' button on my phone... there must be an app for that...

lilypie86 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 0:25

lovely stuff lol x

blackbird31 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 0:33

That's hot

prettypinkpixie 9

Sunday 27 February 2011 0:33

Be glad it wasn't your electric toothbrush.

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

Sunday 27 February 2011 1:10

lol that would b disgusting

GingerFro 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 5:35

past FML refference FTW!

lolol_BKYCHO 3

Sunday 27 February 2011 0:33

I just cried and threw up.

Bandz_fml 3

Sunday 27 February 2011 0:46

No you didn't.

sikstix 2

Sunday 27 February 2011 2:54

lies and untruths

supertacowaffle 41

Sunday 27 February 2011 12:35

over an FML? get a grip

colorfullyemo 4

Tuesday 12 July 2011 4:49

It's called sarcasm. Stfu and stop taking things seriously.

BestthangsmokiN 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 0:49

How did she get the idea to do that to begin with? And how'd you find out?

supertacowaffle 41

Sunday 27 February 2011 16:43

that's a good point:/

TaylorTotsYumm 10

Sunday 27 February 2011 17:46

Mysteries of the Universe.

Sexyychick26 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 0:57

Ummmmmmmm yuck!

Evangeline1 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 1:08

hhehehehehe, that sucks:/:/:/

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

Sunday 27 February 2011 1:08

that's not sexual at all.....

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

Sunday 27 February 2011 1:15

Jk Jk Jk that's disgusting.

anorexicbarbie 8

Sunday 27 February 2011 1:23

No one cares if you were kidding.

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

Sunday 27 February 2011 1:25

ok..

Zebidee 8

Sunday 27 February 2011 1:36

There's something fishy about this story...

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Intimacy AITA Sex Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Cheating

The Top

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 170

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 276

The Top

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I wouldn't use $5,000 to build him a new gaming computer with my surrogate compensation, even though he basically refuses to get a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 260

Today, I had to babysit my dying grandmother, so I brought up my guitar. She hadn't said anything to anyone today, and the first thing and only thing she said was, "Stop. Make it stop" to me when I played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 402

Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what all the fuss was about. He had three new picture messages from his "boss", naked and strapped to a chair with the caption, "Are you still coming over tonight?" We've been married for nine years and have two children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 505

You deserved it 4 654

Today, my store manager thought that it would improve morale to talk in hashtags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 895

You deserved it 3 673

Today, after weeks of begging my boyfriend of almost two years to have sex with me, he told me to find someone else to fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 612

You deserved it 297

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 066

You deserved it 9 810

Same thing different taste

How very dare you?

Eye bleach

Stay away!

Caught

Don't answer

Top comments

Comments