Work: Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my...

By xharmonyx - 24/04/2012 08:29 - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 760

You deserved it 71 090

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Same thing different taste

By heck - 12/08/2016 13:57

Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 153

You deserved it 18 518

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 23:16 - United States - Windsor Heights

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 409

You deserved it 6 445

By Confused - 13/05/2013 14:39 - United States - Bath

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 628

You deserved it 3 144

By evomadrid24 - 02/06/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 175

You deserved it 2 799

By Anonymous - 10/06/2016 17:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 707

You deserved it 1 317

By overflowing - 16/04/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 194

You deserved it 8 670

Are you taking the piss?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2019 14:00

Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 913

By thinking of military school - 23/10/2016 20:35

Today, I drug tested my son for weed. He purposely filled the cup up to the top out of spite and I got piss all over my hands. Oh, and he failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 501

You deserved it 3 688

By slaughterteddy - 20/07/2016 23:23 - United States

Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 040

You deserved it 2 547

Take it up with HR

By Anonymous - 26/08/2024 16:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I got fired for failing a drug test for weed. My boss is the one who sells me weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 571

panny10112326 1

Tuesday 24 April 2012 14:53

Why even bother putting FML if you totally deserved it?? Drugs= baaaaad shit.

The_Hitdude 12

Tuesday 24 April 2012 14:54

Yeah... Paying the same friend you rip a bong with to pass a drug test for you isn't a good idea. Must've been high when you agreed to that.

Comments

cosmosis 12

Tuesday 24 April 2012 15:20

Nope it affects your urine. Which is exactly the reason one ahould not operate heavy machinery whilst under the influence. Results to urinary system could be disasterous...

angelofsaturn 23

Tuesday 24 April 2012 15:22

Sorry dude but YTDI. A random test would be one thing but you knew you had to take a pee test.

barlessprison 16

Tuesday 24 April 2012 15:24

Never has my finger moved so fast toward the YDI button. Sorry buddy but you had it coming.

gracehi 31

Tuesday 24 April 2012 15:25

Hey, OP, lemme help you out here. I'm in the military and many of us military folk who used to do drugs are now in the military and remain in the miliary even though we had to do a drug test to join and continue to be subjected to random drug testing. Wanna know how? We *gasp!* stopped doing drugs!

thats_my_job 11

Tuesday 24 April 2012 15:49

Thank you for your service.

xLittleMissPinkx 5

Tuesday 24 April 2012 15:25

Remember when Michael paid for Dwight's pee on the office? Lol

loserman67 35

Tuesday 24 April 2012 15:29

OP: Dude, I like totally have this drug test tomorrow, can I borrow some piss? Dude: Like totally Dude. OP: When was the last time you baked Dude? Dude: Oh, it's been like totally twelve hours, my piss has gotta be straight! OP: Cool Dude, *inhales* I got this gig in the bagggggg Dude! Totally!

gracehi 31

Tuesday 24 April 2012 15:30

Whoever sold their piss to you probably used the money to buy drugs :p

muffinXmonster 12

Tuesday 24 April 2012 15:33

That sir is an epic fail and you definitely deserve it

challan 19

Tuesday 24 April 2012 16:25

Totally agree! If anyone deserves the title of Head Douche it's him.

muffinXmonster 12

Tuesday 24 April 2012 23:21

And thank you ma'am for making me laugh lol

muffinXmonster 12

Tuesday 24 April 2012 23:39

And thank you for making me laugh

perdix 29

Tuesday 24 April 2012 15:34

Did you get your money back? I'm surprised that someone in the pee-selling industry actually takes drugs. I guess Big Pee isn't as clean as they present themselves to be. Who'da thunk it?