Intimacy: Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the...

By Anonymous - 16/04/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 370

You deserved it 120 491

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Same thing different taste

By Anonyme - 09/07/2011 00:11 - France

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 976

You deserved it 83 939

Noise annoys

By Anonymous - 10/08/2012 05:29 - Europe

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 747

You deserved it 18 276

By JoeyDizz - 06/05/2009 03:41 - United States

Today, while masturbating at the computer, I was interrupted by a flash of light out of the corner of my eye. As I turned to face it, I realized I forgot to close the blinds. Standing at the window in the appartment across the street were two girls, one had a camera and was snapping a second shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 307

You deserved it 66 704

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I left my apartment window open for some fresh air. When I returned, my idiot cat was on the balcony staring at me... from my neighbor’s apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 362

By Magicali - 22/04/2013 02:56 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 321

You deserved it 15 314

Hi there!

By curtain buyer - 09/03/2015 01:05 - United States - Albany

Today, I moved into my new apartment. As I sat in my living room watching Netflix, I found out that my window has an excellent view of my new neighbors, who just so happen to like to shag with the blinds open. I guess I'll be buying some curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 056

You deserved it 3 707

Check these out!

By Anonymous - 12/06/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a rush so when I got home I went to my bedroom, which is on the ground floor, and just started changing my clothes. It wasn’t until I was done I realised my blinds were open. Basically, I'd flashed my thong and tits to a packed bus stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 417

By Anonymous - 17/09/2013 17:23 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 616

You deserved it 4 063

By henry feingold - 10/06/2011 04:08 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 507

You deserved it 13 066

By nakedness - 11/12/2011 01:35 - Australia

Today, I was getting dressed in my bedroom with the blinds open and had nothing covering my top half. I thought my neighbours wouldn't be able to see in through all the trees, that was until I heard someone wolf whistle and one of my neighbours running away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 465

You deserved it 32 153

Bmlacme 3

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:11

EWWW!! Why would you do that? That's just gross..

Lemun 1

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:12

LOL A little too confident ;)

Comments

draccon136 0

Friday 17 April 2009 21:42

You know, the OP's not necessarily unattractive. Maybe the maintenance guy was just embarrassed for her and that was his well-intentioned response.

lifeislife_fml 0

Friday 17 April 2009 23:21

#168: It said maintenance MAN. Unless you imagined a gay guy.

zeefaketest 0

Friday 17 April 2009 23:24

Can you say, "trashy?" YDI

an0nym0uss_fml 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 0:11

lollll you must be one fat ugly bitch....and yes, definitely trashy too

m0nicam0nster 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 0:41

hahahaha ilu for doing that. excellent.

happyinrl 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 0:55

that's good...bitches must be censored lol

jimmyb00o5 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 1:55

#14- Women shouldn't have the right to vote. They can't handle the responsibility

QJD 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 2:23

The goods? Moar liek teh bads! [/1337speak]

nschaaf 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 3:42

LOL you must be fugly

MoobyTheCow 2

Saturday 18 April 2009 4:55

He probably thought you did it by accident, and was doing you a favor in case a creeper stopped by.

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The Top

Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 134

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 504

You deserved it 15 065

The Top

Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 451

You deserved it 18 512

Today, while thinking about something cringe I did, I accidentally said, "Oh fuck!" aloud during someone's speech. The room besides me and the speaker was otherwise quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 582

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to come pick up her things, and while I waited I took a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 761

You deserved it 3 519

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she found some lesbian porn on my computer. Her reasoning? That I must secretly be gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 654

You deserved it 11 623

Today, after months of job hunting, I got a call back for a position. I was outside at the time and had no pen or paper available to write the address down. I told the guy to call me back in 5 minutes and he agreed. It's been 3 hours and still no call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 019

You deserved it 30 531

Today, my guy friend told me he wanted to try being with another guy. I told him I’d help him anyway I could. Who knew his “help” was him wanting me (a woman) to help him get hard since he couldn’t get it up for the guy? Guess not letting him grope me or jerk him off meant I’m unsupportive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 262