Love: Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend,... - FML

By gummy bear - 21/01/2011 11:41

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend, "Where art thou, my love?" via SMS. She replied, "Toilet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 524

You deserved it 30 925

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Same thing different taste

By anon - 30/08/2016 18:32 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 946

You deserved it 2 340

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 887

You deserved it 5 901

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 00:12 - United States

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 166

You deserved it 2 911

By wendtinmypants - 31/05/2014 15:05 - United States - Omaha

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 900

You deserved it 9 217

By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 365

You deserved it 1 522

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 644

You deserved it 2 608

By User - 23/09/2013 17:53 - United States - Romulus

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 974

You deserved it 6 691

Alexa, play "Don't Go" by Yazoo

By nexus - 22/09/2021 04:00 - Papua New Guinea

Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 163

By Poem - 19/12/2009 04:29 - United States

Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, the only response I got was, "You may want to use a spellcheck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 052

You deserved it 26 278

By Anonymous - 09/04/2015 15:10 - United States

Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 657

You deserved it 3 870

Next

Top comments

nerdsgetmehot 22

Friday 21 January 2011 19:05

Oh no, you've found out the truth-- that girls POO and PEE. How will you LIVE?!

alwa7sh 2

Friday 21 January 2011 18:59

she art ******** !

Comments

guppy40000 0

Friday 21 January 2011 21:09

good thing chivalry and toilet humor are going stronger then ever.

jiggyjiggz 0

Friday 21 January 2011 21:28

ydi for being a douche

truehitman2010 0

Friday 21 January 2011 21:32

I guess she's In a shity sittuation

IFightFoos 0

Friday 21 January 2011 21:41

Badum tss!

Jos411 3

Friday 21 January 2011 21:38

Does anyone else realize the irony of "old-school romantic" and "via SMS" in the same sentence?

xxxbooxxx 16

Friday 21 January 2011 21:51

haha I've done that(:

zowieandzander77 1

Friday 21 January 2011 21:53

Am I the only one bothered that she was Texting while in the bathroom?? That's nasty. OP think of where her hands were, then touching her phone, then it touching her face te next time you kiss her.

sallen0046 4

Friday 21 January 2011 22:56

If she was still in the bathroom, it's doubtful she took the time to pause between wiping and standing up to reply to a message. Most likely, she was either on her way, or still going, meaning her hands had touched nothing but her pants.

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Friday 21 January 2011 21:55

She answered your question. I don't see why you're complaining. She could have said "in between your bestfriend's legs".

BikeAllDay818 6

Friday 21 January 2011 21:57

She's a keeper!

Lew1nsk1 0

Friday 21 January 2011 22:08

aw poop that's cute.

Mokegowa 0

Friday 21 January 2011 22:10

For all the people who really didn't pay attention to R

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The Top

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams, the girl I've loved for 3 years. I went to her desk and surprised her with roses, chocolates, and played “All I Want for Christmas is You.” She said no. On top of that, she ate all the chocolates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 1 281

Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 358

The Top

Today, I wanted to experience the free breeze while riding on my bike, so I skipped wearing a helmet for the first time in a long while. I got fined just two minutes after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 1 167

Today, we were supposed to go to one of my husband's coworkers' party, but he had to go alone because we couldn’t find my prosthetic leg anywhere. I eventually found it, in the shed. The only way it got there was if my husband put it there on purpose so I couldn’t go. I think he’s embarrassed of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 109

Today, I felt like working out again since it’s been a while. When I was done and talking to my wife about how good I felt afterwards, my 3 year-old came and patted my stomach and said, "Baby in there, baby in there." Yes, I feel so good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 167

Today, during a driving lesson, I stopped behind a taxi, and got more and more annoyed when the traffic wouldn't move. A few minutes later, my instructor couldn't hold his laughter any more and pointed out I'd somehow zoned out and entered a taxi rank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 637

You deserved it 6 958

Today, I was supposed to get married but we had to postpone as the best man fled the country. With the marriage certificate and vendor money. Not to mention the rings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 522

You deserved it 3 454

Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 174

You deserved it 6 103