Love: Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend,... - FML

By gummy bear - 21/01/2011 11:41

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend, "Where art thou, my love?" via SMS. She replied, "Toilet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 524

You deserved it 30 921

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Same thing different taste

By anon - 30/08/2016 18:32 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 945

You deserved it 2 339

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 884

You deserved it 5 900

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 00:12 - United States

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 164

You deserved it 2 911

By wendtinmypants - 31/05/2014 15:05 - United States - Omaha

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 900

You deserved it 9 217

By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 360

You deserved it 1 521

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 638

You deserved it 2 605

By User - 23/09/2013 17:53 - United States - Romulus

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 972

You deserved it 6 689

Alexa, play "Don't Go" by Yazoo

By nexus - 22/09/2021 04:00 - Papua New Guinea

Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 162

By Poem - 19/12/2009 04:29 - United States

Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, the only response I got was, "You may want to use a spellcheck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 050

You deserved it 26 277

By Anonymous - 09/04/2015 15:10 - United States

Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 656

You deserved it 3 867

Next

Top comments

nerdsgetmehot 22

Friday 21 January 2011 19:05

Oh no, you've found out the truth-- that girls POO and PEE. How will you LIVE?!

alwa7sh 2

Friday 21 January 2011 18:59

she art ******** !

Comments

guppy40000 0

Friday 21 January 2011 21:09

good thing chivalry and toilet humor are going stronger then ever.

jiggyjiggz 0

Friday 21 January 2011 21:28

ydi for being a douche

truehitman2010 0

Friday 21 January 2011 21:32

I guess she's In a shity sittuation

IFightFoos 0

Friday 21 January 2011 21:41

Badum tss!

Jos411 3

Friday 21 January 2011 21:38

Does anyone else realize the irony of "old-school romantic" and "via SMS" in the same sentence?

xxxbooxxx 16

Friday 21 January 2011 21:51

haha I've done that(:

zowieandzander77 1

Friday 21 January 2011 21:53

Am I the only one bothered that she was Texting while in the bathroom?? That's nasty. OP think of where her hands were, then touching her phone, then it touching her face te next time you kiss her.

sallen0046 4

Friday 21 January 2011 22:56

If she was still in the bathroom, it's doubtful she took the time to pause between wiping and standing up to reply to a message. Most likely, she was either on her way, or still going, meaning her hands had touched nothing but her pants.

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Friday 21 January 2011 21:55

She answered your question. I don't see why you're complaining. She could have said "in between your bestfriend's legs".

BikeAllDay818 6

Friday 21 January 2011 21:57

She's a keeper!

Lew1nsk1 0

Friday 21 January 2011 22:08

aw poop that's cute.

Mokegowa 0

Friday 21 January 2011 22:10

For all the people who really didn't pay attention to R

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Awkward Racism Love Money Harassment My ex Embarrassing Accident Work AITA Religion Am I overreacting? Health Relatable Gifts LGBTQIA+ Annoying Inappropriate Teachers Education Dogs Animals Relationship advice Cute Cats Friends Cars Transportation Scams

The Top

Today, my friends threw me a surprise birthday party. They shouted "Surprise!" as I walked into the room. In pure shock, I dropped the groceries I was holding, including a bottle of wine, which shattered. I spent the first 10 or so minutes of my party cleaning red wine and glass off the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 89

Today, I discovered why the toilet seat is often sticky in the morning. My husband is too lazy to lift the seat, instead opting to pee all over it and sleepily wipe it down with loo paper if he notices a splash. He doesn't see why it's a problem since he 'cleans' it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 521

You deserved it 780

The Top

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 144

You deserved it 5 480

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 806

You deserved it 12 748

Today, I got an email from the Law School Admissions Council saying that they received my request for my LSAT cancellation and they are confirming that it has been cancelled. The email also said the score will not be reinstated for any reason. I never requested for my score to be cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 974

You deserved it 2 185

Today, my husband thinks I don’t love him. Why? Because I won’t poop with him in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 119

Today, I was supposed to get married to the love of my life. My ex-wife ended up crashing my wedding and created drama. My now-ex-fiancée decided she wants nothing to do with me anymore, and that, "if she wanted baggage, she’d go to an airport.” She walked out of the wedding and blocked my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 146

Today, my professor spent the entire class showing us how to make paper airplanes. I pay over 40 grand a year for college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 472

You deserved it 6 175