Love: Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend,...

By gummy bear - 21/01/2011 11:41

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend, "Where art thou, my love?" via SMS. She replied, "Toilet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 524

You deserved it 30 921

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Same thing different taste

By anon - 30/08/2016 18:32 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 945

You deserved it 2 339

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 884

You deserved it 5 900

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 00:12 - United States

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 164

You deserved it 2 911

By wendtinmypants - 31/05/2014 15:05 - United States - Omaha

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 900

You deserved it 9 217

By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 360

You deserved it 1 521

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 638

You deserved it 2 605

By User - 23/09/2013 17:53 - United States - Romulus

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 972

You deserved it 6 689

Alexa, play "Don't Go" by Yazoo

By nexus - 22/09/2021 04:00 - Papua New Guinea

Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 162

By Poem - 19/12/2009 04:29 - United States

Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, the only response I got was, "You may want to use a spellcheck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 050

You deserved it 26 277

By Anonymous - 09/04/2015 15:10 - United States

Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 656

You deserved it 3 867

nerdsgetmehot 22

Friday 21 January 2011 19:05

Oh no, you've found out the truth-- that girls POO and PEE. How will you LIVE?!

alwa7sh 2

Friday 21 January 2011 18:59

she art ******** !

Comments

annigotammo 1

Friday 21 January 2011 22:12

you are super lame. at least you're gf is honest?

Mokegowa 0

Friday 21 January 2011 22:13

where for means why. why are you a capulet

cami197934 3

Saturday 9 February 2013 6:32

I was waiting for someone to mention that

Mokegowa 0

Friday 21 January 2011 22:15

So you pretty much said " Why are you my Love"

prettypinkpixie 9

Friday 21 January 2011 22:16

why is this a FML? i think its funny, whats so terrible about it? Oh no, your girlfriend uses the bathroom... girls arent supposed to do that! haha

annabellrose 0

Friday 21 January 2011 22:22

ahh haha that's great!

mazadonga 0

Friday 21 January 2011 22:22

Lmaooo

indigo1 0

Friday 21 January 2011 22:25

she could have said 'on the porcelain throne' lol!

saleha97 4

Friday 21 January 2011 22:37

hahaha, funniest post ever! (:

Beth91 0

Friday 21 January 2011 22:56

Classy girl

Sammansix 3

Friday 21 January 2011 23:12

Such a lady.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Awkward Racism Love Money Harassment My ex Embarrassing Accident Work AITA Religion Am I overreacting? Health Relatable Gifts LGBTQIA+ Annoying Inappropriate Teachers Education Dogs Animals Relationship advice Cute Cats Friends Cars Transportation Scams

The Top

Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 124

You deserved it 27 545

Today, after moving to a new house my life has fallen apart, paperwork lost, appointments missed, job offers rescinded, and now I know why. The postbox by my new house isn’t in use, so four months worth of the letters I've posted are sitting uncollected inside it. It even has a big "Not in use" sign on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 541

The Top

Today, I was going through the history on my computer. Apparently, while I was at school my mother used my computer, and I now know my mother wants to learn how to make her breasts look larger, amongst other things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 160

You deserved it 3 913

Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 726

You deserved it 4 697

Today, I caught a ride with a coworker in their new Mercedes. They spent the drive passionately talking about how it made them a better driver and all the people that say otherwise are idiots. After running three stop signs and nearly sideswiping a minivan, I decided to walk the last mile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 245

You deserved it 181

Today, my son wears all dark clothes, has gotten evil looking tattoos, and worships the devil. It was kinda cute when he was 13, slightly concerning when he turned 18, but now he’s 30 and I’m unsure if I should be more accepting of his lifestyle or just plain old shit scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 1 235

Today, I was about to climb on top of my husband for some fun time, when I stuck my hand in a giant pile of cat poop on my pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 273

Today, the nicest present I received for my 18th birthday was a free razor in the mail. It was then stolen by my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 007

You deserved it 1 704

Same thing different taste

Thanks dad…

Alexa, play "Don't Go" by Yazoo

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