By steve-o - 14/02/2019 15:46 - United States

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 914
You deserved it 4 195
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Same thing different taste

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Joey44 15

Okay, two things: first of all, people fart. Especially in their sleep. Both vegetarians and people who eat meat. You most likely do it too. But if you can't handle it, you should live on your own. Or at least sleep on your own. Second of all, I'm vegetarian, my brother is vegetarian, and several of my good friends are vegetarian, and this has never been a problem for me or any of us. And that isn't just because we're "used to it"; my brother and I both became vegetarians when still living with our other brother and our parents, so I know it never affected them either. If it's seriously an issue - not just you freaking out because you saw someone say women don't fart on the internet and actually thought it was true - maybe you should suggest she see a doctor about it.

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stoptrying 9

Two things: First of all, it's clearly because of her new diet if it wasn't an issue prior to her beginning it. Second of all, unless your brothers had a habit of spooning each other, there's a difference between hearing farts while in another room/bed and having a loud fart right in front of you. Especially if that fart apparently has the strength behind it to "rattle your junk".

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junkman6 22

Veggie farts are rank as hell compared to people who eat a normal balanced diet. Period.

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MotherMonstar 4

At least she didn't DutchOven you, now that would have been epic:-D

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hado_007 0

Junk rattling fart that is ******* hilarious man I haven't laughed this hard in years mate you have made my day

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Calyx_fml 21

You can use your junk to plug her farts.

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fogrunner 13

Bean tips from the internets: "Dried beans are easy to prepare. They have, however, gained a reputation for being hard to digest and are known to cause a little flatulence or 'gas.' To help eliminate this problem, try cooking dried beans like this: Soak dried beans overnight in highly salted water which you will discard when you rinse the beans before cooking. Soak all night or at least for five hours. (This isn't necessary for dried peas or lentils.) Discard the water, rinse well, add fresh water, simmer, low flame for half hour NO SALT and discard the water. Rinse beans thoroughly until water runs clear. Cover with fresh water and cook until tender. NO SALT. This method will help prevent 'gas' ..."

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The_creator_fml 2

The word that made this fml so funny was "she" lol.

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THE_A_TEEN 27

Hey, **** you. Either you're trolling or you're being setious. Don't diss anyone on what sexual position they do. Spooning is not limited for gays, lesbians, or bisexuals. Anyone can do it. Never use a condom? Get better advice.

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