By steve-o - 14/02/2019 15:46 - United States

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 914
You deserved it 4 195

Same thing different taste

Comments

Sounds like maybe: A) she's just become veggie recently and her body's having trouble adjusting to it Or B) she's not eating a proper, healthy diet. Might want to see someone about that...

EvilDave 13

There is no such thing as a healthy, balanced vegetarian diet. Humans are omnivores and have evolved to eat meat. No amount of your whining will change that fact. She is going to continue to fart like that as long as she is being stupid, just like you continue to do it. You just don't realize it, nor do you notice the stench you put out, but the rest of us do.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Go be stupid somewhere else, 69. You're obviously too dumb to just look up statistics across cultures and regions of the world comparing diet with incidence of certain conditions.

leadman1989 15

73 That is a VERY vague statement you could at least give him somewhere to start or a study to look up. Although humans ARE omnivores and vegetarians/vegans usually have to supplement their diets for them to be balanced.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

77, You are right, a lot of vegetarians do have to take supplements. This is because they don't/can't plan out their every meal to include enough of what they need every day/week/month, and of course because today's plant food is left without much of the nutrients and minerals they once contained, due to modern agricultural methods, storage methods, cooking, and others. (This is especially true for the U.S.) Being a vegetarian takes hard work, dedication, and and lots of thinking ahead. It involves knowing about how nutrients are absorbed, and combining your foods appropriately. It involves lots of general and in-depth knowledge of nutrition and biology. It's definitely not for people who don't like putting so much thought into their diet.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Also, I don't have time to direct you all to a link at the moment, but there's a bunch of information on the subject in the movie Forks Over Knives. People have been talking a lot about it lately, and although I didn't find it as well presented as other movies on the subject, there was some very good data and charts about populations and meat consumption. So, you can start there.

If you have to put that much thought into it just to not have deficiencies, the human body obviously wasn't intended in that way. Getting energy from meat is much more efficient than getting it from plants, as the animals down the food chain have already processed it. That's why all very energetic animals (i.e. Cheetahs, Eagles etc etc) eat meat, and herbivore animals usually aren't as exciting.

nah, she will get a taste of her own medicine when she gives you a *******!

Just_Peed 0

Yes because penis obviously smells like an explosion of digested vegetables..?

ACraftyTiger 5

Vegetarians have there reasons to abide by their beliefs, but personally I couldnt live without meat. Animals eat other animals, it is nature. But the way we treat them is also very bad. I like cats ;)

It's "their" not there.... If you're going to write in the English language then please do it correctly.

perdix 29

Farting in the "wee hours?" I think at your house, these will now be the "poo hours."

That was the biggest win EVER! I spit my Frosted Flakes all over the computer when I read that.

Well, she is comfortable enough to fart very loudly in front of you! That says stuff, right??

Ins0mau 20

I was assuming she was asleep. Seeing as he was asleep while spooning her. So it's not like she would be consciously doing it...

The dangers of veggie farts.... Vegan farts are the worse!