By steve-o - 14/02/2019 15:46 - United States

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 914
You deserved it 4 195

Same thing different taste

Comments

Calen5556 0

It was so powerful it "rattled your junk"?

Torva_fml 16
megapeyt 17

NO!!!! IT RATTLED HER JUNK!!! What do you think?

That is such crap, vegetarians have much better smelling farts. Think about it, rotting meat in your gut cannot be healthy....or fragrant.

Rotting ANYTHING in your gut can't be healthy or fragrant.

FYLDeep 25

Yeah, I'm sure rotting cabbage and asparagus smells delightful.

I don't think rotting tofu would smell much nicer. /:

IThinkItsAlright 7

It doesn't rot in your gut. It's broken down in the stomach. The biggest reason farts smell is because of the bacteria living in your colon.

And fermenting veggies is like prefume to you nose? Anyway, the problem was the force that rattled his balls, not the smell. Do you often smell things with you pussy?

The thing is, vegetarians fart more. Because the food they eat produces more gas while being digested. It's not a matter of smell. As far as I know, meat alone doesn't make you fart.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Fermented vegetables are a tasty treat, 38. They're quite common in some parts of the world, so yes, to some it's a pleasant smell. Then again, farts never smell pleasant.

hillbillyboy1993 7

U ever smell a broccoli or a green bean fart??? Apparently not...

saIty 17

When you fart you say the smell is unique, mysterious, and interesting. When someone else lets one rip you go: WTF?!? Who the **** farted?!? God it smells like something ******* died in here. Now I can't stop saying ****! Cause it smells so bad.

Why should rotting vegetation be any better?

Speaking of fermented veggies, vodka farts are the worst farts

Meat stays much longer in the gut than plants.

time for a nice cabbage omelet followed by a Dutch oven.

kaykay20 0

Spinach would actually be worse since it's a veggie that causes gas. Can be quite foul which is why I prefer not eating it.

leadman1989 15

Veggie farts smell like dog farts. The kind you can taste ate the back of your throat. She's like your stinky little puppy now... how cute. :p

FYLDeep 25

Yeah it's not going to smell like teen spirit. That's for sure.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

20, It's not because of the veggies. Like someone else said, it depends on the bacteria in your gut. And like I said somewhere else here, the whole problem is easily fixed with real yogurt, kefir, or other cultured food. And please don't tell me tell me a cow fart smells worse than a lion fart.

LiveLaughFML 10

*cleveland voice* oh, that's nastyy.