Creepy, Creepypasta and Animals: Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from... - FML

By scared-straight - 27/05/2013 04:05 - United States

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 696

You deserved it 4 392

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 520

You deserved it 3 357

PANIC

By Anonymous - 29/12/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I'd fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 405

You deserved it 11 943

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 262

You deserved it 7 317

By goldenpuppy - 19/05/2016 20:54 - United States - Somerville

Today, I was sitting on my couch when I felt something weird underneath me. I got up, thinking I'd sat on my phone or something. Wrong. I'd sat on a live mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 145

You deserved it 1 081

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 509

You deserved it 28 627

Creepy roommates #56

By Anonymous - 16/09/2021 23:00

Today, I awoke to a strange feeling on my feet. It felt like a tongue, so at first thought it was the dog, but we don't have one. I looked down and it was my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 259

You deserved it 84

By phillyfan4life - 21/02/2011 19:50 - United States

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 810

You deserved it 28 464

Rocky VIX

By Anonymous - 29/09/2019 20:06

Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 361

It's Caturday, respect our feline leaders

By believekimber - 09/07/2022 16:00

Today, I was feeding my pets and playing with my puppy when I suddenly felt something behind me. My cat is on the arm of the couch steadily spanking my butt with his paw. I can't win! FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 269

By ashleyramsay - 23/10/2009 19:13 - Canada

Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 699

You deserved it 11 812

Next

Top comments

enamis 3

Monday 27 May 2013 12:07

Well, what was it!? You can't just leave us hanging!

TheCamoWulf 17

Monday 27 May 2013 12:06

You either have a ghost of a decease animal or you have a weird burglar.

Comments

jujubeef 10

Monday 27 May 2013 15:19

oh shit dude you got out in either pretty little liars or scooby doo!

Kyle_Kawi27 7

Monday 27 May 2013 15:40

Please be a cat please be a cat....

avapaige1234 19

Monday 27 May 2013 15:43

You should clean your house more often to get rid of dirty stray rats. Happened to me once too. Woke up the neighbors screaming at the huge rat sniffing my fingers!

Calingaladha 21

Monday 27 May 2013 19:02

Unfortunately, a simple cleaning won't do, as the rats are probably breeding in the building. Poison is probably the most efficient method here.

Dusty_Busters 15

Monday 27 May 2013 15:51

You didn't look?! It was probably a rat

5sonic 22

Monday 27 May 2013 15:55

So that basically means run op. Run.

cinnamondemon 8

Monday 27 May 2013 16:21

I smell something fishy here Heheh... No?... Okay Anyways hope you don't live alone...

MysticMonkey 9

Monday 27 May 2013 16:24

Probably just Chuck Norris

YeahYeahYeahOK 6

Monday 27 May 2013 16:34

Either you were dreaming.... Or.... Nevermind. Little Monsters they are! Bwahahaha!

hannahsnyder69 16

Monday 27 May 2013 16:51

I'm dying to know what it was, myself

theres_nat 9

Monday 27 May 2013 16:51

Oh god good luck

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9

Keywords

Cute Love Surprise Texting My ex Awkward Wanker Intimacy Sex Sleep Health Insomnia Mental health Cooking Food Kids Weekend Parents Miscellaneous Annoying Pranks Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Cats Animals

The Top

Today, I was on a first date and wanted to tell my date a joke. I started laughing halfway through telling it because I found it hilarious. She didn’t laugh. Turns out, I completely forgot the punchline and just sat there cackling like a lunatic. Now I’m getting ghosted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 498

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 179

You deserved it 30 205

The Top

Today, it was my first day as a server at Olive Garden and a customer walked out without paying. It was the new manager's first day too, and he decided to write me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 100

Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for three hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 224

You deserved it 5 517

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 547

You deserved it 7 392

Today, my girlfriend flipped out and dumped me. According to her, not stopping for a dog in the road makes me a sociopath and unsuitable for a relationship. Yes, because slamming on my brakes or swerving into the next lane while doing 75 on the highway and causing a wreck made so much more sense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 806

Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 070

You deserved it 27 015

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 210

You deserved it 5 853