By Anonymous - 23/01/2011 00:12 - United States

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 544
You deserved it 14 764
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

jibz 6

Should've mentioned sex, it's a great calorie burner.

127 3

Comments

myworld99 0

WTF. a tablespoon of sperm is only 9 calories. She's being ridiculous.

2 3
DANduhMAN 0

Screw her. Then cum in her hair. Calories burned with sex and having to wash, dry and style, she'll then be a happy camper.

2 5
perdix 29

Ah, the perils of being a plumpa humpa! Let her suck you off until you are about ready to come, and the blow your load all over her ****. Then, let her rub your **** all over her body. Girls think baby batter is great moisturizer -- I don't know if that's scieñtifically correct, but I'm happy for them to conduct the clinical trials ;)

5 10
perdix 29

You could also teach her that old Weight Watchers trick of eating half of your semen right away and catching the other half in a to-go box (aka doggie bag), so she can enjoy it later. It's all about portion control.

12 3
ifyouseekamy666 0

hahaha! I almost peed my pants reading this, my sisters on weight watchers I think I'll give her this tip lol :D

2 4
ashleeyka 13

i wish i could add comments to my favorites lol

1 0
misterjez 15

I'd slap my wife if she made me wear a condom while she sucked me off.

1 4
caveman0920 0

you diserve it for having sex before marrige

0 0
alicec123 0

just have proper sex?

1 1
blantic 0

Today you did'nt get a *******? FYL?.... Go **** yourself.

5 2
fthku 13

Like everyone said, you should just have regular sex. Great calorie burner, and probably yields the same result - One participant is satisfied.

4 0