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Comments
I guess the meeting wasn't mutual....
He's not your son anymore.
You probably do have your reasons for putting him up for adoption but he sees it as abandonment.. Can't blame him or you for that. It's just life. Unfair.
He must have gone through a very difficult time. YDI OP.
Although I feel for you OP, this is kind of a ydi situation. Despite past circumstances, you have to look at this from your son's point of view. Leave it completely up to him, whether or not he wants you to be a part of his life. I am adopted and I dont see anybody else as my family other than the ones I grew up with. I don't care to ever see my biological parents because I don't see them as my parents. Your son might be feeling the same way. It sucks and I'm sorry it had to be physical, but the choices made in the past always have an affect on the future. :-/
Valid reasons for adoption or not, 20 years is a long time to never even attempt making contact with him.
Keywords
Talk about a soap opera in the making.
You're right, he should've left him in a dumpster.